Oh boy! I feel like.....hmmmm tired...socially awkward...quiet...the 'weird' one...not myself lately. BUT THAT IS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE!!!! I've been letting myself slip away being married and having a baby. Worrying about this or that has made me the boring person that I am now. I've been trying to change my mindset this week. While we were in Snowflake for the 24th, I enjoyed myself more than I have in a long long time. I think it's because I had no responsibilities weighing me down. I'm not saying that I can just ignore being a grown-up and the things I have chosen to do but I CAN handle them more lightly. Just because I'm officially an adult doesn't mean I have to act like a 89 year old woman who believes life is void of any happiness. This week I have {tried} to be happy. That sounds bad that I had to try but I've been stuck in this rut of [insensitivity] that has been sucking life from me.
I feel lighter!!! (And not just because I've started WeightWatchers and lost almost 6 pounds in 6 days!!!!) Life is GOOD! My baby needs me to teach her that life is full of surprises and my husband deserves a smile and a healthy dinner after a hard days work. AND I CAN DO IT [JOYFULLY]!!!!!! It all seems like an easy fix....I don't know how I didn't think of it before. I am excited beyond belief to tear out these pages of dullness and start the next chapter in MY LIFE story. It's going to be full of color and vibrancy. I know there will be chapters of grey rain clouds BUT rain drops always follow (sooner or later). I will dance in that rain and show those around me that I am happy. I am a mom who cares that my daughter learns that trials come but that doesn't give us permission to complain. I am a wife who will show my husband that I love him unconditionally, especially through the hard times. I am blissfully happy.
9 years ago
Dear Allee,
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel I think! Remember our conversation a long time ago in moms trailor at the Ranch? Well I don't know but I was thinking that you are feeling kind of how I was feeling? It is hard to grow up and to be a Mommy and know who you are now. You are a wonderful Mom and I know that you are a sweet loving wife. I guess its one of those times when you have to look at all of your blessings and count them everyday and when one of those nasty bad thoughts comes to your mind just think of all the blessings! Satan knows how to get to you. Don't let him. I love you! You have a beautiful family. You are an awesome person! Truly wonderful!